The Whole Shebang

Two hours, two appointments in one, and a discount to boot.

 

A Bang for your Buck

Your Photos

  • I go through them, ruthlessly tell you which ones need to be axed and why - and sometimes I'll even let you keep one or two.

  • I’ll go into detail about why what you’re currently doing isn’t working for you and then give you specific instructions for how to take flattering photos based on your body type and your intended audience.

  • I’ll provide example photos, photography tips, and answer any questions you have. 

  • At the end of the appointment I'll give you actionable homework and then send you on the path to a profile full of rockin’ new pictures.

Your Bio

  • We'll work on it together! I'll rewrite your prompts and bio as we chat to make it more appealing while still making it distinctly you… or at least the parts of you we wanna advertise.

  • We’ll write as many prompts/bios for as many apps as time allows.

  • We’ll discuss how filters impact match rates and how to use them to your advantage.

  • I’m familiar with most dating apps. Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, CMB, League, OkCupid, Match, eHarmony, Elite, JDate, Christian Mingle, MuzMatch, TanTan, Soul, R4R, Feeld, FetLife, Alt, Kinkoo, etc… you name it, I’ve probably written a bio for it.

How the hell to talk to your matches

  • Anticipate what they want based on clues from their photos and bio.

  • What the heck to do when there's no bio. 

  • How to create an initial message that is compelling enough to get a response.

  • We’ll practice how to transition from the initial message into an engaging conversation with a focus on building chemistry. 

Getting off the app

  • When do you ask them out? How do you ask them out? 

  • How do you know when they’re actually interested in going out on a date and when they’re wasting your time?

  • Why do you keep getting ghosted when you pop the question? 

I’m the secret-keeper of the female species and I'm just shady enough to sell you our inner workings.

Practice Makes Perfect

  • At the beginning of the appointment you’ll be given an example profile that we’ll use to practice. 

  • You’ll have the opportunity to try out your newfound skills in session as we’re working through the different stages of conversation. 

  • If you’re a bit shy or overwhelmed, I'll guide you through it. I’ll be your Gandalf, Dumbledore, Rick, or Danny DeVito* - this is a choose-your-own-elderly-guide sort of situation. 

*Disclaimer: I am not elderly, male, nor Danny DeVito.

2 Hours - $199

 

Related Services

Online Dating Quickie

Review the new photos you’ve taken after the Whole Shebang, ask questions, or write up any additional bios.

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Mock Date

Congrats on all the matches! Time to level up your game. Take me on a Mock Date and I’ll tell you what you’re doing wrong and how to fix it. You don’t even have to buy me dinner.

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Chloe On-Call

An easy way to get immediate feedback and assistance. This is a text-based service that can be used while taking photos, in a dressing room, etc.

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Let’s Talk About Sex

When should I make a move? How do I initiate foreplay? What if they don’t orgasm? What the fuck is a clitoris? If this sounds like you, let’s talk about sex.

Book Appointment > Learn More >