Think you’re too unattractive for online dating? You’re not alone.

A good portion of online daters believe they’re too ugly for dating apps. Wanna guess what all of you have in common? You’re dead wrong.

By the time I’m done with my clients, most of their built-up fears have completely dissolved. Within a week, they start sending me excited messages about how they’re getting matches for the first time in ages, and a week after that they’re singing my praises in written testimonials. Don’t believe me? Read them for yourself ;)

I’ve literally never had a client contact me after our last appointment to complain about a lack of results or to leave me a negative review. Am I some magical unicorn princess who solves problems with a flip of my hair and a flick of my magic wand? Of course I am, but I also offer practical advice. The truth is that dating apps can work for 99% of people if you know how to use them. With a little work (and fabulous coaching), you’ll get there in no time.

Shockingly, almost all of that work involves being honest with yourself. In my experience, as someone who consults with frustrated daters for a living, your problem is probably one of the following:

1. Unrealistic Expectations

I’ll be straight with you, if you're a balding dude in your 40s, you probably won’t match with a nubile college freshman - but you can match with a 40yr old yoga instructor. If you’re 100lbs overweight, you probably aren’t going to match with a Sports Illustrated model - but you can match with someone attractive. Will they be overweight? Possibly, but so are you, dude(ette).

If you’re a white dude living in small-town Vermont, and you’re only interested in Japanese women or a big-city lady exclusively interested in cowboys… 🙄come on, really? Manage your expectations!

You can find someone who will make you happy and will duck you like the dirty, dirty rock-star you are if you promise to stay on planet earth with regards to expectations. Listen, I’m not judging you for being attracted to gorgeous humans… Everyone does a double-take when they see a hottie. I’m just (lovingly) suggesting that you don’t put all your eggs in their unrealistically-hot basket.

2. Your Photos Are Unattractive

Note that I said your PHOTOS are unattractive, not that you’re unattractive. Don’t be dramatic, just take better pictures. If you want some free advice about photos, I have plenty of it in previous blogs, including general tips and specific situational photos.

If you’re looking for personalized assistance, I happen to know a dating coach who literally has a master’s degree in this shiz, a great track record of getting her clients dates, and she’s friggin hilarious (It’s me. I’m talking about me).

3. Your Bio and Prompts are Bad

Your prospective matches aren't interested in a corny pun, your life story, a list of requirements for your dream partner, douchey bragging, or a bitch-fest about how much you hate online dating. They’re looking for someone to feel excited about. Write a bio that’s incredibly charming, informative, and humanizes the hell out of you.

4. Rural Town Blues

As a small-town survivor myself, I feel you. I understand that the pickins can be slim. Consider changing your zip code to the nearest decent-sized town. Don’t catfish them and say that you’re from NYC if you’re in Kansas, but it’s fine to use the zip code of a nearby town as long as you’re upfront about where you live AND are willing to do most of the traveling.

Feel-Good Conclusion

You’re almost certainly not too ugly for online dating. You’re just doing a poor job at marketing yourself. Do yourself a favor next time you catch yourself throwing a pity party: take a good, long look at your profile to make sure that you’re putting your best foot forward, and then adjust accordingly.

Dating apps are essentially marketing campaigns. It isn’t about what you look like, who you are, or what you want. It’s about your ability to market yourself effectively to your intended audience. As someone who has built dating profiles for 20-30 people a week, every week, for three years, trust me- you don’t have to be Hottie McHotterson to make online dating work for you.

If you feel a bit lost, hit me up. I’ll take your profile from busted to bangin’, or you can always get a gift card for a friend!

Cheers,
Chloe